Crispy KiloByte

Simon Cooper

2010-09-12T19:53:00.004+05:30

So, who is Simon Cooper? He is one of the lead characters from The Inbetweeners – a British sitcom. And why is he the title of my post? Because he seems to resemble me a lot.

Not in looks definitely. That would be Neil Nitin Mukesh (do I really look like him? Everyone says that!!). Well let’s analyze. He is not the tallest in the group. Looks rather better than the other 3 and is definitely the most mature one. Can drive safely. Loves a girl who is committed to an older guy and hence never seems to get going with her. A junior girl has a crush on him. Anything else? Yeah he pukes badly when drunk. Apart from the boner control he is just like me. Yeah I can control it :P. Also I’m older and I get served as compared to the character. The actor seems older though.

It’s strange because I’ve never been able to relate to any fictional character so much. Not even Harry Potter :P. So, advice from my side, if you want to know me watch The Inbetweeners. Watch it anyway it’s superawesome!

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Character Count: 991

The PPT Experience

2010-09-04T19:56:00.000+05:30

PPTs are nice. They show you all that you can’t have. That’s the current status message I have on facebook. If I were a girl, I would have received a 100 likes by now by guys who have not been shortlisted. Actually if I were a girl I wouldn’t have put it up as I would have been shortlisted in the first place :P. we’ll leave the gender discrimination for some later stage.

Anyway, so PPT stands for Pre-Placement Talk which a lot of people don’t know. This is not for placement but for internships but since it’s derived from the placement procedure, they decided to keep it the same. Now, this is where a company presents itself to a bunch of awestruck 3rd year students who want the company as badly as we want girls and the company knows it. Sadly, for me being a 6-pointer keeps me back from getting shortlisted in the “big” companies. So while my friends Sharma and Pranay crack P&G, I sit here writing this.

So, the best part of today’s PPT was Nupur Joshi who was looking stunning in a purple dress and lip gloss.

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Character Count: 1020

New Room(ie)

2010-08-15T01:47:00.001+05:30

It’s been a month. Well almost since I changed rooms. My new room looks exactly like the previous one except that my roommate isn’t Sumedh. It’s Sandipan now. Better known as Pondy. So what have I gained or lost in this deal? Let’s analyze the difference.
Pros:
1. Sandipan unlike Sumedh doesn’t play any music instrument. So the decibel levels are low.
2. No unwanted guests.
3. As a result of the above two points, I can sleep on time and attend lectures. This has obviously shown a certain improvement in my marks. I hope it translates to good grades too..
4. MI work can be done peacefully without the fear of someone overlooking because of point 2. Also can write a diary.
Cons:
1. Sandipan is known to shag on the floor. Has a spot in the room.
2. Talks a lot of rubbish. Can get intolerable at times.
3. No network in the room.
The major motivation for changing the room was to sleep on time and increase CPI. I think I might achieve this… So, a positive deal till now.

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Character Count: 970

Yes I did.

2010-08-09T00:47:00.001+05:30

I loved you. Notice the past tense. 2 years of my school life. I did love you… Although I realized it was never going to happen between us. If only you weren’t committed then.But now 4 years on even today I can’t help but think… what if we were together. When I’m low (or high) I think of you. I control myself from calling you up and saying those three words which I’ve longed to say… forever I guess. I even messaged it once. That was a mistake. I agree. But if not you then whom? It’s not like I’ve not had crushes after you but I never think of them in such situations.Also my last post touches on the fact that there has definitely been no lack of admiration if I may call it from the other side. But I just always play them down (a hindi translation of this would be: main kata deta hoon bandi ka. Main chutiya hoon na.) But why? Is it because I still love you?I’ve been told that you liked me too but you were committed. I’d live the rest of my life with this if it’s true. But all I have now is a lot of “what if”s…
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Character Count: 1023

No I don't :(

2010-08-09T00:44:00.001+05:30

"Do you have a girlfriend?" If only I received a nickel every time I heard that! Why would any girl ask me that? The obvious explanation I can think of would mean that I have a lot of admirers. That can’t be a bad thing.
My problem is that I think a hundred times before I would ask a girl if she is single. It’s not like a friend bets you to call up a girl at 2 am. That’s easy. You know what she’s going to think. Do they know what conclusion I’m going to jump to when they ask?
So, I asked a couple of girls… I was told that well… I was right :P. They are either interested in me or judging me for my standard of modernity/outgoing-ness/coolness. The latter is scary but why would anyone judge me if not for the former. More importantly, why me? :P. Food for thought.
But some things to worry about are what is the judgement when I say that I’m single and why in the world would committed girls bother to ask!? (of course I ask them if they’re single when they ask me. It would be rude not to. :P)
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Character Count: 997

The sem that was...

2010-05-09T17:25:00.002+05:30

I’ll be honest. I’ve screwed up… I’ve read this somewhere. Sumedh’s blog I guess or his diary :P. Yeah I do like my roomie a lot though I can see this sem we’ve grown apart.

This has been a sem of 3M’s for not just me but at least 3 people I know. Muggai, Muth and Mood I for me. The third one is different for each one of us. It’s the first part I’ve screwed up. The second because I can’t screw and the third is well kickass!

If we forget the academic part it’s been an awesome sem. Near perfect AIDS, crazy nights and nightouts, becoming CG and the treats that followed and trips to accounts section…
I do have a few regrets though. I regret doing PAF. Wasted a lot of time. The time I lost could have been utilized for, if not academics then, Mood I. I do regret not going to Chaos. The time I spent studying fluid mechanics didn’t help me one bit. I regret not going to a crib session. I will write about it in another post.

All in all a sem of ups and downs… which will be remembered more for the ups than the downs.

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Character Count: 1020

3 IdIoTs

2010-02-10T15:12:00.002+05:30

I know I’m late on this but I had to write this. The excuse is that I watched 3 idiots only recently. Just had to check out what the hype is all about and also the movie is apparently about IIT life. Having read Five Point Someone, I wasn’t expecting any surprises. Whatever the producer says, it is entirely based on the novel. The major difference being that the movie is plot-based and the novel is mainly anecdotal. And a very stupid plot at that. Come on, a guy with 400 patents to his name would have his photograph published everywhere.
Engineering isn’t as remotely sad as the movie makes us believe. There are bigger problems like sex ratio and post-grads :P.
Heck, it wasn’t even funny except the chamatkar speech which was also probably lifted from some e-mail like rest of the punch lines in the movie.
However sad it may be I’ll have to live with the cult status 3 idiots has achieved and facebook fan pages dedicated to every dialogue in the movie.
Finally, the guy who commits suicide is not even a Gulti. :P

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Character Count: 1023

Mann Ka Radio?

2009-10-15T17:15:00.001+05:30

Being a Himesh Reshammiya fan (yeah, still!); I had to listen to his new songs from the movie Radio. I was disappointed to find that the familiar high-pitched (not nasal :P) voice was missing. The music was good though and as expected the lyrics were crap.
Everyone knows that people hate HR’s voice and his lyrics (and more recently, his acting). If he can change his voice why not lyrics? Till now HR had been taking the ridicule for Sameer’s lyrics. Radio has lyrics by some Subrat Sinha. Sample these:
1.Mann Ka Radio Bajane De Jara
Ghum Ko Bhulkar Ji Le Tu Jara
Station Koyi Naya Tune Kar Le Jara
Full To Attitude De De Tu Jara
2.Kabhi Happy Kar De, Kabhi Sad Banaaye
Kabhi Senti Kar De Kabhi Mad Banaaye
3.Piya Jaise Laadoo Motichoorwaale
It’s like it was written by the writer of Gunda (awesome movie! :D) who tried to rhyme everything at the expense of making it sound hilarious. This is worse than Love You Unconditionally and I love You Sayyoni.
Hell, I’ll still defend Himesh by saying the music is good. :P

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Character Count: 1023

The Malhar Experience

2009-08-11T12:49:00.003+05:30

St. Xavier’s – the rumoured chick heaven conducts a fest called Malhar every year. Every year IITians go there to realize that girls exist outside movies and sitcoms too. There is no scope(or as we say.. scope hota hai) of scoring with any one of them but the reversed sex ratio keeps us happy for a while.
Then we are told by the same girls that we are crowding the corridor so we can’t stand there or anywhere for that matter. Keep walking or... wait for it… the famous line which we never forget to mock “Stick to the wall.”
These were the stories. So I had to check for myself. Though I had to carry costumes and I cards and other valuables of the performers for some time, it was all worth it. The stories indeed are true. But, I couldn’t help feeling crestfallen at the end of the day.
How many real girls did I speak to? 1.
“Which way is McD’s?”
“I have no idea.”
I don’t know what she means by not having any idea but a delhi guy told me the right way and there I saw The Girl already enjoying her meal. Happies Endings.
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Character Count: 1022

Give Up

2009-08-11T12:17:00.001+05:30

It's been some time since I wrote the last post. So, today I’m going to make up for it by writing two. Both of them are pretty unrelated but it’s like opportunity cost. You give up one for the other. This is about the one I gave up.
If PAF was the biggest waste of time and resources hostel elections are a close second. To hold a post in the hostel one has to file a nomination after doing thorough groundwork. Prepare a manifesto and then campaign in every wing of the hostel. Here seniors enjoy sadistic and maybe carnal pleasure by making candidates dance to shady dance numbers and asking them random questions (apart from the manifesto-related ones) like “Tu logon mein enthu kaise jagayega?” If no one is interested what can I do? The same routine in 22 wings. Also add to that “PAF mein kaam nahi karega to impeach karwa dunga.”
Since I backed out, everyone has been asking me why I did so. I think the above mentioned crap was good enough for me to back out. Life is much better without obligations and PAF.
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Character Count: 1017

Gulti Conscience

2009-06-25T15:18:00.005+05:30

Everyone knows I hate gultis. But before I'm branded as a regionalist or an anti-regionalist let me define what a gulti is. Urban dictionary defines a gulti as someone from Andhra Pradesh. Partly true. A gulti along with being from AP must fulfill the following conditions. He/She
1. must be in an engineering college at least 500 km away from his house.
2. must not know any language other than Telugu.
3. must not have any non-gulti friends.
4. must listen to Telugu songs only and watch telugu movies only.
5. must study 24/7 or be tensed about studies if he fails to study all the time.
6. must never laugh.
Tell me who wouldn't hate such a person? Is it then any surprise that Indians murdered in the US are mainly from AP? The Americans are slightly smarter than Australians I would say. Australians are picking on any Indian they see. Americans know who the nerds stealing their jobs are. It isn't racism it's just anti-gultism. Of course their crimes are heinous but I'd say the hatred is justified.
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Character Count: 1008

One Year Since the Day...

2009-04-13T00:44:00.004+05:30

Ninad said,"Just as war heroes don't talk about their war experience, we IITians don't speak about our JEE." No one listens to Ninad. So I will write about my JEE.
It all began with an early morning phonecall which generally doesn't signal good news. It was my friend's mom who asked me if I wanted to join some classes for IIT-JEE preparation. The only thing I knew about IIT back then was that the entrance exam is tough.
Some research and aptitude tests later, I joined PACE. I shouldn't advertise PACE here or I might be in trouble like our beloved DoSA. For 2 years, I did nothing I wanted to - movies, games, girlfriend(scope-2), porn? (Nah). Instead, I started liking Physics, Chemistry and Maths. My daily routine was being away for classes/college for around 10 hours and then studying till 4 am, dancing at night and sleeping with books. When will the k in books make way for b?
13th April,2008 was a near perfect day. Apart from the powercut and Arsenal losing to ManU, everything went well.
End result: AIR 438.
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Character Count: 1023

Girls in IIT

2009-04-07T15:59:00.001+05:30

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Character Count: 0

Dream Theater?

2009-04-01T23:56:00.007+05:30

This topic has nothing to do with the band. This is about three very important letters in an IIT Bombay student’s life. CPI? No. PAF - Performing Arts Festival. Wiki it. I’ll just write my take on it.
Some guys may get a heart attack when I say that I found PAF a complete waste of time. A lot may agree too. Do I see profs agreeing with me for the first time? Rs. 65k (+ our beds) spent on costumes and sets and of course cigarettes. The experience may be grand but is it worth the effort? I was part of the prod, dance and dram(for some time) team and all three require a lot of time which means many sleepless nights and screwed up quizzes and ultimately grades. As a senior said, “quizzes, labs, girlfriend(scope?) are not important. PAF is.” Maybe next year I will be able to enjoy it and understand why so many people are senti+mental about it.
After all the effort, this year my PAF team was last in everything. H1, 2, 4 , 13 won. I didn’t see the winning PAF but ours certainly was better than one if not two.
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Character Count:1021

About The Blog

2009-03-27T23:44:00.000+05:30

I'm a man of few words. Being a Gemini, long posts bore me, even if they receive comments like "This is the best thing I've ever read". Ditto for books, movies etc.
So, this blog will have only short posts. i.e. not more than 1024 characters.
Why 1024?
1024 characters = 1024 bytes = 1 Kilobyte and hence the name of the blog.
The 1024 idea struck me(no, not in the toilet where i generally get ideas) when i was reading a testimonial on orkut. Most of them start with: "Its difficult to describe this person in 1024 characters". Of course they don't manage to write even 1024 characters. But I'll leave the orkut writers bashing for some other post.
Cheating is a bad habit. So, I won't indulge in it by splitting posts in 2 parts or writing in SMS lingo.
What will I write about?
Anything I want to. This is MY blog after all. As my roomie says, all bloggers are egotistic. I am too. Also since this is freelance, I can swear as much as I want. It would be hypocritical if I don't.
How much is 1024 characters?
This much.